The Queer Variety Show
Need to contact Megan Munro/Sparklemuffin/Mena Paws - email me at
Queer Variety Show
Featuring Queer/LGBTIQA+ and Disabled (includes neurodivergent, mental illness, chronic illness) performers and our allies
Please do not wear perfume or cologne and consider wearing a mask to protect audience and cast who can catch colds and flus easily.
Smith's Alternative
76 Alinga Street, Canberra, ACT.
Tuesdays 7pm - 9pm
18th June - Open theme
20th August - 'Connection' theme
29th October - Open theme
17th December - 'Beliefs' theme
Inquiries - MrGreenTealDrag@gmail.com
Next Show, 20th August 2024
Image description: A blue background with a colourful, rain drop covered spider web. There is an Arachne Art logo of a peacock spider in the left bottom corner. Text: The Queer Variety Show. 'Connections'. Smith's Alternative, Tuesday 20th August, 7 - 9pm. Tickets $20/$25.
The second Queer Variety Show, will have a theme of 'Connections'. It will feature Queer and *Disabled performers and our allies.
We will have a couple of prizes to give away. The theme of the competition is yet to be set.
Carrying on from our first show we encourage you to wear whatever you feel comfortable in. This could be your Pjs, your oodie, tracksuit or an evening gown. Whatever you like.
Please do not wear strong smelling perfumes or similar products and consider wearing a mask to help keep the show safe for disabled folk attending.
*disabled as a broad umbrella term this includes but is not limited to, chronic illness, neurodivergent, mental illness etc.
Performers for 20th of August.
More information coming soon.... however the performers are Bambi Valentine (also Emcee), Ginger Nibbles, Sparklemuffin, Temerity Outře, Cody Smith and Holly Hazlewood, Sweet Az and a film by Nicci Carlsen.
Ginger Nibbles
Photographer: Empress Eyrie
She’s a little bit spicy and very sweet, can you handle the energy and joy that is Ginger Nibbles? A proud disabled woman from Darumbal Country, Ginger Nibbles is a fan of dance and getting her gear off, so of course she loves burlesque!
When she’s not shaking her bits on stage, Ginger can be found flinging her clothes off and jumping in the lake, nerding out over numbers, and enjoying all kinds of music. A graduate of Tease-Able dance with Empress Eyrie, Ginger Nibbles is pleased to bring her brand of burlesque to the world.
Image description:
Ginger is a pale skinned woman with long read hair and a cheeky expression. She is sitting, leaning back and is wearing black pants and a black bra. She has on a long sleeved black top that is coming off, revealing her shoulders. The background is black.
Sparklemuffin
Photographer - CaptaVitae Photography
Fifty fucking-six, and fabulous, Sparklemuffin is a trip up and down the gender spectrum. Bogan DILF, 80s goddess and costume genius. Sparklemuffin combines their multi-disciplinary art practise, to create stories that will blow your mind, or your pants. Queer and disabled, the stage is their place to shine. Bringing visibility to often unseen identities. They have an attitude that is rather appealing. Once your eyes have gazed upon this weird, magical mad hatter, you will know you are home. Their job is done.
Image description:
Sparklemuffin is standing with their rollator. Behind them is a green couch with cushions and green leafy wall paper. They are white skinned and have short dark, greying hair and glittery, masculine style makeup, including a goatee. They are wearing pink, black and red pants, that are in a swirly pattern down their legs. They have a red, ruffled shirt and a black sequinned jacket. Around their neck is a pink scarf with a red glittery brooch.
Temerity Outře
Photographer - Empress Eyrie
Tease-Able alumni, Temerity Outrè loves to dance. Whether it’s burlesque, wheelchair dance sport or her own unique blend of the two. She rolls through life, enjoying every experience after almost losing it all. Ever ready with a bright smile, this babe with a mobility aid is ready to share her joy and electrify you.
Image description:
Temerity Outře is sitting on her wheel chair. She has her left hand behind their head and the other arm behind their body. She has shoulder length blonde hair, black framed glasses and a cheeky expression and is wearing a navy, sequinned dress, black fishnet stockings and a black floral headdress. Her right leg is exposed to the thigh. Behind her is a black curtain.
Holly Hazlewood
Photographer - Nathan J Lester
Holly Hazlewood has burst onto the Canberra comedy scene with her unique take on queer life, dating and just what it's like to walk down the street as a two metre tall trans woman.
Holly has performed as part of SpringOut's Queer Comedy Collective, the Raw Comedy Festival, in Sydney at The Palms, The Rat Club, The Laugh inn, Good Girls comedy and all across the ACT.
Come have your funny bone tickled (consensually) by this rising star in the local comedy and performing arts scene.
Image description:
Holly is a white skinned woman, she is standing on a stage with her body turned slightly to the left, the shot is from the knees up. She had brown, collar length hair, and has her right arm bent with two perfectly manicured nails pointing out of a fist as though she is counting. She is holding a microphone up to her face with the other hand and is smiling as she speaks. She is wearing slim fitting red/pin pants, a white crop top and a red/brown jacket. Behind her is a piano and a clock.
Nicci Carlsen
Nicci, also known by her burlesque name Bawldy Locks, is a dreamer, a writer, a singer, a painter and a poet. She is a thinker of many thoughts and a warrior who lives with multiple chronic illnesses. She says it like it is and feels too many of everyone’s feelings, but this makes her someone who wants to help the world, one person at a time.
Nicci cannot perform in person, we will be sharing a film of her work.
Image description
This is a headshot of Nicci. She is a white skinned woman with blue eyes and a smattering of freckles. She is wearing a black fabric hat with red, yellow, green and gold embroidery. She has a black top on and a multi coloured necklace. The background is black tiles. She is smiling at the camera.
Cody Smith
A professional intersex agitator for a decade now, Cody Smith is Canberra born, Canberra raised, likely one day Canberra dead. They are an enthusiastic wordsmith, wrestling fan, and all round nonsense generator. Whether jokes, poetry, or a rallying war cry for human rights. Half the trick is keeping them on topic.
Image description
Cody is a white skinned person. They have short dark hair and in this photo they appear to have dark eyes. They are wearing a brown top and the background is orange. In this photo they are staring at the camera and are a bit expressionless.
SweetAz
SweetAz is a young-and-lively, wheelchair-racing, lady-smooching, Afrikaans-Australian-being, all-round quirky-dream-girl extroadinaire. Owing her success to winning the genetic lottery (thanks hereditary conditions!) she’s been singing since she worked out how to use that ol’ voice-box.
Image description
This is a head shot of a pale skinned person. SweetAz is sitting in a car. She has collar length, blonde wavy hair. Her eyes are disguised by dark sunglasses. She is wearing a tan coloured hat and a navy t-shirt, over the top of a navy and white t-shirt. Azerie has two piercings in the middle of her lips and a silver coloured necklace with a charm shaped like Africa. She is smiling at the camera.
Bambi Valentine (Performer and Emcee)
Image description:
Bambi Valentine is a white skinned woman with muli-coloured eyes, and long wavy dark hair. She is wearing a grey fur coat, and is looking directly at the camera with her right hand stretched out, fingers bent, as if she is thinking about reaching for something. Behind her is a brown, cream, gold, black and white circular, mandala like painting. She is smiling at the camera.
Bambi Valentine, the incendiary Queen of Absurd, Erotic Buffoon, and Goddess of Fire and Fury. With a career spanning a millennia, this Canberra-based performer has built a reputation for her fierce performances, sharp with and unbridled energy.
Bambi’s talents know no bounds – she’s a burlesque siren, comedienne, MC, dancer, actress, rapper and film star all rolled into one. With her unique blend of humour, charm, commitment to connection and fiery fury, Bambi has captured the hearts of fans nationwide. She’s a true original, a master of her craft and a force to be reckoned with.
Accessibility
Many buildings in Canberra are not accessible. Smith's Alternative is a bit more accessible than most. I will be working with Smith's to make the event just a bit more accessible. As a producer Smith's Alternative is a really good option, as they provide a lot of the support to make each event happen, more than many other venues. This in itself makes it accessible for me to produce a show there. Without this support I wouldn't be able to do it.
A couple of things that help make the venue accessible is that the owners, Nigel and Beth are always around to help out. It is also known to be a safe space for queer folk.
Film Clips
The following is film clips of the venue for purposes of accessibility. Watching these may cause motion sickness for some. Photos coming soon for folks who can't access the film clips. Pardon the shakiness in parts, that's my disability in action.
Entering the venue and the inside of the venue
For performers these films will be of use, however I have a separate clip specifically for you, which I am not going to list here, as it shows backstage area of Smith's Alternative. I can send you a link if you email me.
Smith's Alternative is at ground level, this means mobility aid users can get in the front door. The front door opens inwards. The furniture is able to be moved around, which means we can move it to accommodate our needs. If you are a performer, there is a ramp that goes up onto the stage. To get to the toilets, it requires you to go up and down a few steps at the back of the venue OR you go out the front door to the left and then left again down a ramp which takes you to all the toilets. I am told that not everyone can actually use the disabled toilet, due to the way the door opens and the angles. Some wheelchair users are known to visit a neighbouring venue to go to the toilet.
I don't know if what we plan to do it considered Open Captions. We will be projecting some text onto a film screen. The text will be basic or abbreviated versions of what the Emcee will be saying. It will include the performer introductions.
We will have available a couple of large print copies of show information.
Please do not wear strong smelling perfume or similar products and consider wearing a mask to protect members of the audience and the performers.
Click on 'Map' to be taken to a link with a map of where the venue is.
A section of the map is below. Smith's Alternative is indicated by the red marker.
Photos of Smith's Alternative for accessibility purposes
Entry into the building
This is the entry into Smith's Alternative. There is a small wooden ramp. The door opens inwards.
Image Description: A doorway with brown wooden doors and a big long brass handle. One door is open. The ground on the outside of the doorway is tiled. There is a small wooden ramp leading up to the door opening.
This is just inside the main door entry of Smith's Alternative. To the left is the bar area, to the right is an area with some couches. There is a step up to the area with the couches. The main door to the toilets is at the back of the room. The door/entry into another room is just past this entry to the right. This area can get quite congested just before an event.
Image description: A room with a bar on the left and some furniture on the right. The floor is black and white Lino.
This is the entry to the room where many shows are held. The person who checks peoples tickets, usually stands at a small table to the left of this doorway when you enter.
Image description: A wooden door way. To the right is a wall with lots of posters on it and furniture in front of it. Looking through the doorway, there is a bunch of chairs and a small step up to the left. The stage with a screen down is just visible.
This is an overall view of the main show space, just after you walk through the door. Not quite visible is an area that is slightly raised to the left, with and array of seating and tables. To the right there is also an array of seating, including many couches and soft seating.
Seating can be and is arranged differently depending on what event is being held and how many tickets are sold. If sold out, the seating is usually in rows and fairly jam packed. In the right of this image there is a red ramp.
Image description: A room with an array of different chairs and tables. There is a red bit of floor to the right, this is a gentle ramp going up to the side of the stage. The stage is in the distance, there is a screen hanging down on the stage.
The toilets
Wheel chair users can go up the red ramp and sit facing it. The furniture behind them is usually arranged in rows, all facing the ramp (facing the stage).
Image description: A room with a bunch of chairs on the left, a red ramp to the right of the chairs and further furniture next to the red ramp.
To get to the toilets, you go through the red door in the first room, that the bar is in. This is not accessible to mobility aid users, as there are three steps on the other side of it.
Image description: An image of a room that has a black and white checked Lino floor. There is a wall on the left with some furniture and other furniture and some curtains on the right. In the middle of the photo is a red door with 'toilets' written on it.
To access the disabled toilets, you need to go back out the front door of Smith's Alternative, turn right and there is another building entry that is a couple of sliding glass doors. These open automatically.
Image description: An image of a couple of glass sliding doors. There is some signage written on the left hand side. text: physio, massage, podiatry. There is some signage above the door that is just visible.
After you go through the glass doors you will see a lift right in front of you, to the left of that is a some stairs to the right is a ramp with a red railing. This is where you go to access the disabled (and other) toilets.
Image description: a picture of a ramp. The floor is dark grey and the wall is white, there is a red railing.
As you go down the ramp you will see the men's toilets on the left (there is a couple of steps down to them). At the bottom of the ramp you will see some steps ahead of you, this leads back into Smith's Alternative, to the left is the entry to the disabled toilet and the women's toilets. The door to the disabled toilet opens outwards.
Image description: A photo of a grey door, with white walls around it and a grey floor.
The disabled toilet is quite small and the corners that you need to turn to get into it are also quite narrow. Some people are not able to access it, due to the angles and the size of the toilet.
Image description: A disabled toilet room. The walls are white there is a white toilet on the left hand side of the room. There is a rail that starts behind the toilet and runs around to the left side of the toilet. Just visible is a hand washing basin on the left side of the image.
This is the side wall of the disabled toilet. You can just see the toilet in the bottom right hand side.
Image description: a photo of a toilet /bathroom. There is a white hand basin in the left corner, a rail that is along the wall, a sanitary bin and the edge of the toilet in the right corner.
Outside area
This is the outside area of Smith's Alternative, it is directly in front. There is a step down, and a lot of the furniture is big and heavy. However, a mobility aid user could get in there by moving towards Northbourne Avenue and going 'around'.
Image description: a bunch of outdoor furniture, with some plants in the background, a large column in the right, top corner.
This is to the left hand side of the outdoor area at Smith's Alternative. As you can see it is open, with no barriers, this could be accessible to mobility aid users.
Image description: A large wooden table with bench chairs is in the right side of the photo. In the background there is paved ground and some garden beds and a road in the background.
Parking
The Queer Variety Show is being held on Tuesday nights. Most of the parking at that time will be free (after 5.30pm). The map below shows where there are some parking spots, as indicated by the double white crosses. Hobart Street car park is close and there is street parking. The car park that is next to London Circuit, indicated by the pink crosses, has a boom gate and there is a fee at all times.
Performer information
The first four shows are currently full.
If you are interested in performing in the future, please send me an email
Below is some information about how the shows will work from the point of view of performing.
The Queer Variety Show is for queer/LGBTIQA+ and disabled performers. (Disabled used as an umbrella term to cover, neurodivergent folk, chronic illness, mental illness and any other disabilities). We will occasionally have someone who does not fit this description, as we need our allies. I am looking for performers - drag, burlesque, story tellers (this can include a coming out type of story), poets, comedians and musicians (perhaps not a full band set up, we can discuss this). There can be no messy acts - no glitter, confetti, that type of thing and I do not have the capacity to include pole, fire acts or anything that requires extra safety. I am also looking for Emcees. You might also have a good film footage of you performing, we can possibly show films. You can be an experienced performer or a newbie, I'd like a range.
In the first instance, we will be paid by ticket sales at the door, after Smiths take their cut. I will do my best to make sure we sell those tickets. Performers and the Emcee will be paid before anyone else is.
As this show is to platform queer and disabled performers, I will do my best to make this as accessible as possible for you. I also understand that people might be hesitant to apply, in case they have to pull out. I will have things in place to deal with this.
Burlesque and drag type of acts - limit of 5 minutes
Story tellers - can go longer
Musicians - can have up to 15 minutes
Other acts - we can negotiate
There will be no rehearsals for these shows, you need to organise that for yourself. Shows are being held at Smith's Alternative in Civic. (Canberra). There is little backstage room there, so you will need to come along with hair and makeup done and be as ready to perform as possible. This is possibly with the exception of Burlesque performers.
If you would like to see a video tour of the space, let me know and I can send you a link. I am not making this public as it shows some back stage parts of Smith's Alternative that I don't think
Show themes for 2024
Tuesday 18th June - no theme.
Tuesday 20th August - Theme 'Connection'. Connections, like chain links, connection to family, connection to the earth, connection to cheese, connection to your favourite tv show or game. Connection is just the starting point.
Tuesday 29th October - no theme
Tuesday 17th December - theme 'Beliefs'. Do you belief in kindness? Do you believe that pineapple does not belong on pizza? Do you believe in astrology? . Beliefs is just the starting point.